Shot Plans

4:38 - Well my idea to apply to grad school at SCAD for fall 2011 can be shot to hell because Martin informed me last night that Ranger Regiment (our only hope for getting out of Texas within the next year) could wait until 2012 (2012!!!!!!) to pull his packet. Basically Martin "applies" to be in Ranger Regiment and then needs to get "selected." He needs to have been in Company Command for a year and he'll hit a year next April. We expected to be out of Texas by next summer. So with Ranger Regiment able to take its sweet time in choosing him he'll probably get sucked into another Iraq (at least not Afghanistan but that could change too) deployment in July/August of next summer and be gone for an entire freaking year again. The strange thing is I'm not upset about the deployment, I'd be stupid and ignorant to think he wasn't going to deploy again but the thing that makes me want to cry and vomit simultaneously is the thought of being here for another 2 years. TWO MORE YEARS in this deadbeat horrid town. And an entire year of going to bed at 9:30 because I have nothing better to do. An entire year of being scared that someone is going to jump our backyard fence and break in (funnily I am not scared at all when Martin is sleeping next to me.) Two more years of putting my life on hold and wondering when the Army will stop screwing my life up.

The only good to maybe come of the whole thing is that if Martin does get sucked into another deployment he's pretty sure he'll get out of the Army. Then we'll go to grad school together, somewhere bad ass. Of course his feelings towards the Army changes with the wind and all our friends (and even acquaintances) tell me he'll be a General and in the Army for life, blah blah blah (makes me proud of him but left feeling a little desperate about my own life.)

So yeah, as the soldiers say "FTA."


* Another lesson in life that I have thanks to the Army is that I am the only one responsible for my life. I have to shut up, quit whining and stop blaming the Army for all my woes. As Lauren said "Take charge!!" It may not go as planned but I'm sure as heck not going to let anything stop me from living my life!